mandalay

plasticware

so as i write this, i'm sitting at my desk at work "eating" lunch and trying not to be upset that i totally just closed a document without saving it that i hadn't saved for an hour. if you'll notice, i've placed eating in quotation marks. now why ever would i do this? because, my friends, i am using plasticware.

now, plastic is supposed to be a thing of the future, a symbol of progress, after all plastics make it possible. if you'll recall "the graduate," plastic was the field people told him he should get into to be a success. so my question is this: what exactly is it that plastic makes possible? when two plastics come together in the form of tupperware and plasticware, is there harmony? NO! there is only the sliding of tupperware across the desktop and the utterly demoralizing act of a knife with one and one half inches of a scalloped edge (which is supposed to aid in the act of cutting) slipping across the surface of a very tasty piece of chicken. where is the dignity in a plastic fork? this little white weakling ineffective collection of prongs which do nothing to hold their intended target? i would venture to say that it is quite impossible to look intelligent or dignified while holding a white plastic fork.

the execution of the eating process with plasticware is as difficult for me as it is to use chopsticks. still i persist. i refuse to use only my hands, i retrieve the dish from the edge of the desk and i spend a full two minutes making two cuts resulting in three bite-size morsels of chicken which are supposed to abate my hunger. at least with chopsticks, there is a hope for the future, a fantasy of elegant eating out of wooden bowls with dim lights, rice, colorful ginger and wasabi. there is also a kind of respect that accrues from the persistent falling of sushi from betwixt two sticks. in my fantasy, there is dexterity. not all the dexterity in the world can give a person grace when using a plastic fork.

posted by amanda @ 11:56 AM