mandalay

magnetic fields

For the second time in my life, I planned to buy a compass for a man I thought was lost. This one too slipped away before the deed was done, leaving me to think I am the one who is lost, or losing. That I dont have the authority to provide even a means to find direction. It reminds me of a poem, one that has been in my head the past few days:

Summons (or this wont hurt you a bit, and itll cheer me up) by Mary Karr

For an instant I looked away, and an ocean
blossomed between us, 3000 miles
of wild silk rippling. On the other side

your unreachable body. Listen,
the globes meridians bore me,
and I deplore time zones and the lone hearts

metronome without your broad chest
thumping close counterpoint. No breath I draw
will properly fill my lungs till your fine spirit

again issues into me. No eyes will level pierce
this hearts core till your gaze again
sends the deep arrows flying. Darling,

remember: our faces in proximity make
a pure small space--a vessel or goblet
that could hold the whole Atlantic. Always

I stare you-ward: come spill yourself in me.




and a second poem which came to mind when i said losing.



Coda by Jim Carroll

I have been becoming as I
Have been answering for fortune
Extended even as I have been
Losing lately, forming in perfunctory

Ways to go on giving, yet totalling
Up what I am
Owing, knowing how
Much is due

Doing now what is
Needed for what
I am becoming

posted by amanda @ 6:04 PM