mandalay

exit music

the last few days have definitely been a good preparation for my impending departure. friday night was spent at lauren's having dinner and drinks with the ladies, eating spaghetti, drinking wine, and talking about boys. saturday, i went through my storage unit, opened all the boxes so carefully packed a month ago and re-sorted what is and isn't necessary for the next two years of my life. i also acquired quite the sunburn. then yesterday, ross and i went to brunch with davie who was in town from new york. in april, i'll be photographing davie's wedding and i am very excited about it. it occurred to me today that i could probably count on two hands the number of times i've hung out with davie in the time i've known him. and yet i consider him one of my best friends. there are just some people in this world that you feel an instant connection with, and distance and hours spent together don't seem to have any bearing on your relationship. after we hung out with everyone, we drove around, listened to radiohead, went to mt. bonnell and chatted while looking out over the lake. it was a muggy austin night and the moon was full. often uncomfortable, but still bordering bliss, much like i would classify the last nine years here.

for the last week or so, every song i hear sounds like leaving. i have a perpetual lump in my throat. people keep saying aren't you excited? but really i'm so caught up in the details of moving and the people i have to leave behind that i've barely thought about it. today after months without response, the man formerly expected to be "the one" dropped me a note to see how i was and how my show had gone. i felt as if my lung collapsed. every delusion i'd had of moving on, of being untouchable by him any longer, was dispelled. true to form and our history, all it took was me thinking of him, wondering how he was, for contact to occur. for 8 years we have been doing this. every time something significant happens in the other's life, usually when the other person has no idea about it, we'll sense it, and call or email. it often shatters our peaceful respective worlds.

the lovely dorothy saved me from my dwelling disposition and we dined at blue star cafeteria for dinner, where 5% of our bill was going to help in darfur on this monday eve. it was wonderful and she helped as always to pull me out of my head and bring me back to the pure enjoyment of the moment. i am absolutely in awe of the wonderful people i have met since i've been here. i already miss you all.

posted by amanda @ 8:40 PM