mandalay

warning: contemplations following. in the last year or so, i have had a number of relationships or almost-relationships that have helped me learn a few things. 1) my one truly serious long-term relationship was actually a lot more mature than i once thought. despite the fact that travis was lacking ambition, he was the most caring, understanding, accepting, forgiving, supportive and loving boyfriend i have ever had. what wonders. 2) i am a woman who knows what she wants. i may sometimes take my time figuring out what that is, but once i've decided, there is no going back and thinking "is this really what i want?" "is this best for me?" or "what if i'm wrong?" i make my decision and i'm instantly ready to acquire what i want. this is true whether we're speaking of wanting to be in a new place, wanting to meet someone, make out with someone, get a piercing, buy a pair of shoes, have ice cream for dinner, go to grad school, whatever. the downside to this is that i seem to be in the minority here. how are there so many people in the world that won't do what's necessary to get what they want, what will make them happy? 3) other people don't seem to feel the same sense of urgency that i do. i think that if it feels right to take things slowly, then that's what should be done. but if it feels right to move forward, why not do it? 4) men and women are very different creatures. 5) i am very different from other women. i am not good at playing games, and i play hard-to-get best when i truly don't want to be gotten by the other person, which is to say, i can't do it when i should.

posted by amanda @ 11:42 AM