mandalay

the approach

I seem to be approaching comfort. I'm not sure that I can explain this but I will try. Recently, I've gotten really tired of having extra things and clutter in my life. I began cleaning my apartment, doing a massive overhaul, getting clothes together for goodwill, stripping my shower, going through years of papers and old greeting cards and just generally trying to simplify. But then it wasn't enough. I wanted to be healthier too. When I couldn't find my Pilates tape, I started doing yoga about a week ago. And loved it. I love the way I feel while I'm doing it, I love the energy it gives me and I love the soreness across my back and ribs and legs that I feel the day after. But that wasn't enough either so I began to think about all the crap I eat and decided it was about time to stop that. The thing is that I don't feel like just switching to a new diet is enough. So yesterday I began researching fasting online as a way to de-tox my body and I plan on taking a few days to prepare, de-caffeine my body and such and then next week I'll begin. I haven't decided how long I'm going to go, probably just 3-5 days, but I'm just going to see how I feel in the midst of it. And of course, as happens so often, I started to see signs of synchronicity today. When I mentioned the fasting idea to a couple of my co-workers, I found out that one of them had done a fast for nearly a month with the master cleanse program. I just learned yesterday what master cleanse was, and it's basically water with lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. I think that's all you drink while on it. But of course, in addition to hearing about it from Mary, I looked at Joanna's site and saw that she too is renewing her efforts at health and even mentioned the master cleanse thing in relation to veganism. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to try that, I just plan on drinking fruit juice and herbal tea, but we'll see. Also, I've really only wanted to listen to quiet peaceful music. I've been feeling pretty quiet. Oh how I long to have Sufjan Stevens on my computer here at work.

Slightly unrelated: I went to see "Closer" at the movies a couple of weeks ago and, while I didn't think it was terrible, I thought it tried way too hard to be a living metaphor for relationships. But this is not what I want to say about it. What I want to say is that it has ruined Damien Rice for me. I can't listen to "The Blower's Daughter" without seeing Natalie Portman in my mind walking in slow motion down a fucking sidewalk. She's cute but not cute enough that I want her walking through my head in slow motion all the fucking time.

posted by amanda @ 1:12 PM