mandalay

The Amoeba

Normally I would be in class right now. But after having a particularly stressful month and having made the decision to find a new place to live, I dropped one of my classes halfway through the quarter so I could do what I need without driving myself crazy. I can inhale.

The peace that comes from having made a decision to leave this place is no small thing. While it's tinged a bit by the prospect of having to confront my landlord about moving out, being able to see an end is an enormous relief. Now I have time to talk about the new boy in my life. I've nicknamed him Amoeba, for his bizarre ability to expand/contract to the size of his surroundings. Sleeping in the same bed with a guy who has 9 inches and 100 pounds on me and fills space in such a way is a challenge. He offered to buy me spurs. My friend asked me the other day if we were officially past the honeymoon period and I believe the answer is yes. After two months (one of which was absolute hell, wherein he had to deal with me sick with strep and hormonal from trying to get on the pill), now we're comfortable. The truth is, it was comfortable from day one, but we both were pretty dumbfounded by how well we got each other from the beginning and were waiting for the other shoe to drop. It still hasn't happened.

There are many common traits among the men that I am drawn to. I like men who are comfortable with themselves, unafraid to look foolish, fun, intelligent, musical, ambitious, funny and kind. Amoeba is the first guy I've ever been with who possessed all of these traits and wasn't afraid of losing himself in a relationship. I am a person who likes to have a certain amount of control in my life, but I recognize that this isn't always possible and I don't think it's healthy to get too bent out of shape when things don't go my way (which I tend to do). So I also like to be with people who push boundaries and force me to let things go. Amoeba doesn't really have boundaries. And he doesn't give much credence to mine.

The insecurities I have, he's willing to help me get over. He's offered to take me bowling one on one (if you don't know the weird childhood issues I have with bowling, it's not very interesting, but it is very real) to get over them. My chronic indecisiveness in restaurants, he is very kind about: he'll have me order the two things I can't decide between and then we'll share. Which is not to say that he doesn't tease me about them. He's positively shameless. He will stand up in a bar and imitate a turkey (as he did the first time he met three of my girlfriends here); he'll serenade me and end up on one knee with his arms outstretched in a convenience store. He makes me laugh and he challenges me and he is the most intensely thoughtful person I've ever known (I don't mean that in terms of generosity but degree of thinking). A week or two after I met him, I told a friend that if he believed in marriage (he thinks it's an inherently flawed institution), I'd say I'd found the man I was going to marry. Right now I'm content to say that I don't see an end from here, and that's something I'm more than OK with.

posted by amanda @ 2:51 PM